I Deal In Commodities.

I'm nobody special. A businessman whose commodity happens to be that most precious thing known to man, hope. I dispense hope, for a price. Don't ask me if the price is worth it, I'm merely the dealer. (cocked eyebrow, shrug of the shoulders.)

Oh, is that so? I don't give a shit. (slams table, real anger.) Tell me about the first one. No more bullshit.

Well, if you insist. Ah, the first one. Is it not said the first time is always the best? (another slam on the table.) Alright, alright, I'm just recounting. Well the first one, she's what you'd call a two-looker. Someone you look at once, then look again. A real beaut that one. Not terribly bright though. (scoff) Whaddya know, guess what she came in with, self-esteem and image problems. Thought she was fat and ugly. Felt that her life wasn't worth living. Way too easy, to be honest. Some mock sympathy and medical jargon and I had her. She wanted to end her misery, I did.

Shut up. I said no more of that crap. So you confess to it?

Gladly, why should I deny it? She got what she wanted, I was doing her a favour, merely fulfilling her wishes. (barely restrained fury) Okay, calm down. I'll tell you want you want to hear. The second one. Oh, one to make you weep. Like a greek tragic it was. Young lad, barely out of his teens if I remember correctly. He was seeking to escape all those (faint smile) crushing issues all young people face. Out of luck and out of love, he was snared by my promises of a solution to all his problems. I offered him hope, and he eagerly grabbed it. Oh, I asked him. Do you want a way out? No prizes for guessing what he said. I gave it to him.

(grunt) Okay that will be all for today. (gets up to leave) I'll see you in cou-

Why so hasty? Perhaps you see more than a little sense in what I'm saying? I'm not a murderer, God forbid. I'm a businessman. I give people what they want. I'm sure it doesn't shock you how many people want what I can give. Truly it doesn't. Who would pass up the chance to be free of all cares? I'm not surprised I got caught, I'm surprised you would want me caught. I'm doing the world a service. Deep inside, everyone wants to die. They just haven't come to that conclusion yet. Maybe I'm ahead of the curve, or jumping the gun a little bit. But ultimately, is what I'm doing so wrong? Ending years of misery and pain that life without fail dishes out. Tell me what's wrong with that. (silence) You can't. That will be all for today, this was taxing. And may I have a glass of water on your way out?

(silence. door slams. silence again.)

iDream.

Ladies, gentlemen. Today we unveil our latest, and the finest, in technology. We realized that your every waking moment was spent using our products, plugged into our iPods, tapping away at our MacBooks. And that the only way we could improve on how we improve your lives is to develop a product that could entertain you while you were (significant pause) asleep. Today is the day our efforts have come to fruition, I give you, the iDream. (cue applause)

Ever wanted to live a dream? Now you can. With iDream, anything is possible. No more nightmares, waking or otherwise. This is escapism in its ultimate form. Dreading the next day? Cast your worries aside every night with iDream. This groundbreaking machine will allow you to dream the dreams you want to dream. It will cater to every electrical impulse fired between the neurons in your brain, such that all your whims and desires are taken care of. Ah, I see your rapt attention dwindling away, so I shall spare you the boring details of how it works. Suffice to say that it does. It has also been tried and tested to be safe. (Oh yes, the testers are still alive, no doubt about that.)

Ladies, gentlemen. Enjoy.

The next day, no one woke up. And the day after. And the day after. They were living their dreams.